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Cougar goes to prom

September 30, 2008

Against my better judgement, I met a boy on the subway. I say boy because I later found out he was 21. He was friendly and talking to everyone around him and we chatted a bit. Then I ended up seeing him over and over again and agreed to go to lunch with him. Ahem. I know. But I actually thought he was nice and he seemed more than ok with the age difference.

During lunch The Kid asked me to go to a formal “thing” with him on Sunday, saying he would look like the man and would love it if I was there. After asking a few questions, I began to think that it was a frat formal he was inviting me to. (Could I have more red flags here?) I told my co-worker friends this and it immediately became “You’re going to the prom.” Ugh. So I kept asking questions.

I found out later it wasn’t the prom or anything school related. He’s part of the Freemasons and it was their annual ball. He had no clue what was going on and I only knew it would be some variation of a cocktail hour, an informal dinner, or a ball (oh yeah, I knew exactly what I needed to wear <—dripping with sarcasm) but ultimately decided to go. I threw on a cute little dress and made myself look fab and headed over there. I knew they had some rule about the guys wearing black suits so I figured with a white shirt and any tie, he couldn’t mess this up. Wrong. SO SO SO wrong.  I’m going to try my best to give you a visual of what he wore.

His suit was black, his shirt was a thick green seersucker and his tie was blue and yellow

My eyes wanted to bleed. I stuck with it though and hung out with him for the night. It was just bad. He was too young. He wasn’t chivalrous. I think he tried to make out with me at some point. He wanted to take the subway back while I was trying to hunt down a cab. He has cankles. I couldn’t see them through his suit but knew they were there. Even during the night, I was talking to the wife of a man who had taken this guy under his wing and she asked how we’d met. I told her and she went “Oh honey. You’re not supposed to meet people on the train.” Yup.

He was just doofy. It’s the best word I can find to describe it. And definitely not for me.

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