Posts Tagged ‘Maddy’

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I was smarter when I was younger

September 4, 2008

Many moons ago, I was a party happy 19 or 20 year old who loved to go clubbing. My girlfriend Maddy and I thought we were hot shit and went to this one club Gotham City pretty often. (Note: I recently found a picture of us from those days. We were not hot shit.) I digress.

One night at Gotham, despite his being many feet above me in a suspended booth, I somehow ended up talking to the DJ for quite a bit and exchanging numbers with him. We talked for a couple weeks, had great conversations and then Peanut asked me to dinner. He went on and on about how he wanted to take me somewhere great and how amazing it would be and blah blah blah. So I went out, bought a hot dress, did myself up real nice and got ready to have a blast.

A few hours before I was supposed to see him, he called asking if I could pick him up. Being young and naïve, I figured something was wrong with his car and agreed. When I pulled up to his house, I noticed that Peanut was about 2 inches shorter than me (ummm, I’m 5’2. This is hard for a man to do). He was also wearing a tee shirt and jeans. Hmmm. Not very complimentary to my fabulous slinky dress but again, I rationalized it. So away we went, off to our super amazing dinner. Or so I thought. After following his directions for quite some time, we pulled in to (I kid you not) Applebees.

Now let me pause for a quick disclaimer: I LOVE Applebees. Their apple crisp is probably my all-time favorite dessert. However, I usually don’t even bother combing my hair before I go there, much less spend time shaving my legs.

So I was still being the sweet young thing I once was and didn’t say anything. Hell, at least I was going to get some mozzarella sticks out of this. We sat down and Peanut immediately began listing off what I could order, based on price.  Uh huh. I know. That was my breaking point. I ordered the most expensive stuff I could find on that menu and listened to him drone on and on about how awesome he was while I waited for it all to arrive. When it did, I took one bite of everything, excused myself to go to the bathroom. I then got in my car and drove home.

One of my finer moments.